If you or your partner struggles with premature ejaculation, you’re not alone: Premature ejaculation is the most common sexual disorder among those who have penises (via StatPearls). According to the Cleveland Clinic, the condition manifests in an estimated 30% to 40% of men.
While premature ejaculation may be very common among men of all ages, because the reasons behind it can be mental, physical, or emotional, it’s hard to quickly get to the bottom of this sexual dysfunction. Because of this, getting a handle on premature ejaculation through the “start-stop” method may be the first line of defense you’ll want to consider. A bit of a twist on the “squeeze technique,” the “start-stop” method involves stimulating the penis until you feel like you’re about to come, then stopping. Also known as edging, because you’re reaching the “edge” but rolling it back when you do, you can repeat the process as many times as you want, and your method of stimulation is up to you.
Although there’s no shame in premature ejaculation, it’s still something you want to curb, if you can, for the sake of your sex life. Per a 2011 study in Therapeutic Advances in Urology, the “start-stop” method works, at least in the short-term, for 45% to 65% of men. While the long-term remains inconclusive, it’s definitely a method to try — especially before investing in expensive medical treatments.
Your body will train itself to last longer
Whether you call it edging or the start-stop method, the intention is the same: to learn to control your ejaculation. When your penis is stimulated with the knowledge that you’re going to prevent a climax from occurring, you become aware of how your body responds and acts at specific points during the arousal process.
“Edging can be a great way for people to gain an intimate understanding of their arousal patterns and sexual responsiveness, which translates to better command of their bodies,” sexual wellness expert Natasha Marie Narkiewicz tells Prevention. “You can learn more about how it changes, how it moves through the sexual response cycle, what works best, and you might even surprise yourself.” This knowledge isn’t something that people are just inherently born with, but rather something they learn about themselves over time — but only if they make an effort to do so.
While there’s no right or wrong amount of time that anyone should last during sex or masturbation, once you realize that sex-related activities are more about pleasure than orgasm, you may want to slow things down and keep climaxes at bay for a bit. If that’s the case for you, then you have nothing to lose by educating yourself on exactly how your brain and body are connected when it comes to ejaculation.
It can lead to more intense orgasms
If you’ve had enough orgasms, you know that they’re not always the same. Sometimes they feel extra strong, while other times they feel like a blip on the orgasm radar — which means it was still good, but could be better. Although there’s no one reason why an orgasm may be less intense than another, you better believe hormones and stress are at play among other things, and the “start-stop” method can actually result in really intense orgasms.
When you’re aroused to the brink of climax, your whole body is involved: muscles are tensing up from head to toe, blood is flowing, and your brain is very much focused on what’s to come. But when you take away that prize, so to speak, prolonging the pleasure and anticipation, your body wants it even more. “This can create a lot of sexual tension and excitement, which can lead to a really intense and pleasurable orgasm,” Ann Russo, LCSW, tells StyleCaster. “It’s like a rollercoaster ride for your body.” And you know how you feel after you get off a rollercoaster: electric.
What’s most important to realize is that although the “start-stop” method has great results for many, it’s not something that’s one-size-fits-all. Sometimes premature ejaculation and the reasons for it run deeper and involve more unpacking than simply learning the practice of edging. If you give the method your all — and not just a few times, but many — and you’re not seeing the changes you hoped for, then it’s time to see a urologist to get expert input.